Vulnerable...the Rejected Emotion

I had a life lesson this past week. The past two weeks have been really rough for me. I have found myself with tears streaming down my face often. Maybe a little too often. Last night, I was at my church for a session meeting – I am becoming a member of the church (finally), and had to meet before the session. Well, everything was going good, until I had to give the “right hand of fellowship” to about 8 men—the elders in the church. Now normally, this would not be a big deal. But I have hardly seen men my dad’s age for the past month, so just being in the presence of older men was a bit overwhelming. The new members all filed into a line and were going through shaking hands of the elders. I made it through the first few men, but was starting to get teary-eyed. By the time I got to a good friend of mine, who was near the end of the line, I just lost it. I broke down and bawled. This man just stood there and hugged me. Well, I was holding up the line and the other new members were watching….a bit awkward!! But my friend invited me to go to his house for a little bit to talk with him and his wife-and I jumped at the opportunity.

You see, I am hurting right now. And I want to let others help. I want to give someone a call when I’m sad and upset and just need to know someone is supporting me. I want to stop over at friends’ houses when I need someone to just hug me and tell me it’s ok to cry or to just be in the presence of someone who cares. I find myself not calling or not stopping over, because I don’t want to interrupt their plans or be “too needy”, etc – but I find myself needing to be with people who love and support me. But that requires vulnerability on my part. And that is an awfully hard thing for me to be right now.

I think most of us hate that word. Vulnerable. It just sounds so…scary – at least to me. I’ve had two conversations with different people this week about this issue. Most of us are so willing to help other people. To take time to listen to our friends when they are hurting and support them in some way. Yet, when our turn comes around to be the vulnerable one…it is so much harder. We don’t want to show our emotions, we don’t want to let others know how much we hurt or how scared we are. We are “supposed to be strong.” Well – I’m here to tell you – as Christians, it’s ok to not be strong and ask for help.

Last night I sat on a couch in between a very godly, older, and wise couple being comforted while I had a constant stream of tears running down my face for 2 hours. I was vulnerable. I shared what was on my heart. And I found peace-and extreme thankfulness.

So remember…be there for your friends, support others, find those who are broken and hurting around you. There are plenty of people who just need love and support. Keep your eyes open and let yourself love them with God’s love. But when it comes a time when you have a deep hurt…don’t be afraid to express yourself or show your “weakness”. Let others show you that same love that you once showed them in their time of pain. And I promise – you’ll be blessed by being open and vulnerable.

Galatians 6:2 – Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.