It's been 9 weeks since I started teaching. It's hard to believe that I have made it through. It has been 9 weeks full of blessing, challenges, laughter, tears, grumpy days, and moments of thankfulness. I have been so thankful for this position. I would not give it up for anything! There are plenty of days where I wonder if I will ever get through the day...but God brings me through it. I am truly going to miss my kiddos when the teacher returns.
9 weeks. Since my last day off.
9 weeks. Since I relaxed and did nothing for a whole day.
9 weeks. Since I sat still and read a book.
9 weeks. Since I could do whatever I wanted.
9 weeks. Since I took time to sit still before God.
9 weeks. Since I made phone calls to precious friends.
9 weeks. Of feeling the tension between being a Christian in a secular work environment.
9 weeks. Of pushing back my emotions for 8 hours during the day.
9 weeks. Of forgetting myself and serving 21 precious, yet needy children for 8 hours.
9 weeks. Of feeling the awkward transition between college and career.
9 weeks. Of writing lesson plan after lesson plan after lesson plan.
9 weeks. Of being mentally "on" for 8 hours. Try it sometime; it's exhausting.
I have loved teaching. I've loved the children. I love my class. I love my challenging students. I love the school and the teachers I work with.
But the one thing I don't love is that lack of time to spend with God. I've been feeling frustrated lately. When I was college, I had so much more free time. I thought I was busy, but compared to this, I had some spare time to relax. I was able to read my Bible more, pray, read spiritual growth books, and serve others more. Now, I hardly have time to do anything but my short 30 minute devotions each day. I want to be consumed with Christ, I want to be serving others, I want to be praising Him all day. But I physically can't due to my job demands. I'm learning that your spiritual walk is going to look different based upon what season of life you're in. And that's something I have to come to accept. I can be just as close to God but it may look different. I may not be able to read my Bible as much as I want or be serving others in the most tangible way -- but I can be praying throughout the day and serving my kiddos each day and try to share Christ's light with them.
I pray that I will never lose passion for Christ and His work -- I pray he will give it back to me in a greater way that I've ever experience - and I pray I will always follow His will.
I'm still in the limbo season of life where I don't have a clue what the future holds -- and that doesn't work too well for someone who likes to plan 5 years from now. :) I'm learning to trust God and to live in the moment -- not 5 years from now.
Here's a few pictures of my lovely pumpkin carving experience -- something I haven't done since I was a young child. I just had to include a picture of my "big brother" Steve on here... :)
