Today, May 27, 2010, marks the one year anniversary of my dad's death. It is so strange to say that - still! So hard to believe that it's been one year without my dad. How could I have possibly gone through a whole year without him - and still survived? How could I have not talked to him in one year, heard his voice in over a year, or seen him?
On the other hand, I am 21 years old! I'm technically an adult, I should be able to surive without a dad. Oh, it is absolutely crazy what grief can do to you! It is a funny thing... sometimes I wonder if I've really been through all that's happened this past year. Not just with my dad's death, but the things that have happened as a result of his death. But looking back - I wouldn't be where I am in life right now if not for this event that rocked the Roe family structure.
Do you know pain? Do you know sorrow? Do you know brokenness?
I believe we all do - or all will at one point in life. Whether it's the death of a loved one, a broken relationship, a terrifying illness, or facing the unknown, we will all face some kind of pain in our life. So what are you going to do with it? Will you run to drugs and alcohol to run from the pain? Or maybe you will throw yourself into a relationship in an attempt to fill the hole in your heart? Will you became angry and bitter towards God, family, or even yourself for having to go through it? Or will you run wholeheartedly to God, your Sustainer and Healer?
It's a choice. It's your choice. God isn't going to force you to cling to Him. It's up to us.
Will you focus on your pain? Or will you choose to believe that what you're going through is just preparing you for the joy that will soon come? Let me leave you with a song that has been so encouraging to me the past few months. It's called "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson. I feel that the lyrics are so powerful and can speak to every heart.
~ - ~
Do you wonder why you have to
feel the things that hurt you?
If there's a God who loves you,
Where is He now?
Or maybe there are things you can't see
And all those things are happening,
To bring a better ending
Someday, somehow you'll see, you'll see.
Would you dare, would you dare to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing?
Cause the pain that you've been feling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming.
So hold on, you gotta wait for the light,
Press on and just fight the good fight.
Cause the pain that you've been feeling,
It's just the dark before the morning.
~-~
Press on friends. Whatever pain you may be feeling...it's just the dark before the morning, the hurt before the healing. You still have a reason to sing - God is in control; He loves you outrageously; and He's calling you to Him no matter where you are in life. Are you answering His call?
(And if you're going through a rough time, let me know...I would love to pray for you. I now know that the intercessory prayers of others were what got me through some of my roughest moments. God provides blessings in the midst of pain!)
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